i have a feeling.

that this is going to bite me back in the future.

Growing up with some of the most talented and inspirational kids on the west side, you always hope that you'll be able to achieve what they've already accomplished. Things are hard, though, and I don't think I could ever get that far. & I never will unless I put in the amount of work that hey have.

Funny how fast this blog changed my attitude.

Well, I better get it cracking and start practicing. (:

bored out of my mind.

waste of SPACE.

the holidays.

haven't been all so great so far. what'd I expect, right ?
don't expect too much, you'll get disappointed, dearly.

It's weird, because I DIDN'T notice.
& the thing is, yeah, i do talk about what happens at my school entirely too much. but YOU came into my life first, and nothing will ever change that. You're my best, BEST friend. I could never replace you. You think any of the new people I met could ever amount to the friendship we have ? I highly doubt it. And really, when I talk to my Clark friends, I'm always telling them about you. I'm pretty sure all my friends know you now, because I'm always telling them about everything that we've done together in the past, & how I'm excited to go over to your house and hang out. You don't know how much we miss you.

It's my fault, I didn't notice until now that me, you, & ashley were drifting. There WILL be times when this happens in high school, but it won't stay that way. We'll always come back to you. I'm sorry if it seems like things are falling apart, but they're not. Things will get better, I promise.

We love you, don't forget, alright ?

Gravity ,

Every night, never thought anyone would get to me
Opened up a part of me I never knew
Finally gravity pulled us closer ,
I feel like somebody just knocked me over, and I've fallen

sadies.

was fun at first, but it seemed like something was wrong.
LOL, barely anyone showed up. but that's okaay, our group was cool (;

Aw, I'd have to thank dennis, for trying to cheer me up.
Thanks for showing that you care, <3
You even wanted to dance with me when everyone left & went to go sit down.
haa, thanks bud :D

I tried to teach Ryan how to dance, but I don't really think he got the hang of it (x

& I don't believe it. I don't think I ever could, and I'm sorry.
You told me to forget about it, and I know that I should, but I can't. I don't know what to think anymore, and I hate being so unsure. Can we figure this out ?

blackout.

Amazing how worked up we get when we don't have electricity for a couple hours.

I hope you realize,

I'll always be here for you girls (:

divinagracia ;

<3

HA , I'm a loser.

Tell me something I DON'T know.
I'm not sure if I should do it. Maybe I'll wait, because I'm too indecisive.
I'm worried someone else will ask before me, though.
Ugh, I'm confused.

townsquare.

It was, overall, a good day.
We watched new moon. The movie wasn't that good, but it was better than Twilight (:
Asian possay went, too.
" My hands are cold. "

I love how Ashley and Naiyana kept chasing each other around today. LOL, what crazy girls <3 We left right when we were having fun. DANG, it was cold, though.
Oh, and we each made a wish (:

& I need to stop changing my mind, because i already know what the right decision is.
The right thing isn't always the easiest thing to do.
In fact, it usually isn't.

why ,

do i always change my mind ?
ugh , option 3.

this can't be happening, right ?

You played piano today ,
And it was beautiful <3

I didn't realize you were playing at the time, so I missed most of it. But it was really quite beautiful, & I loved it. I want someone that can inspire me.

& as for mr. not-so-sure :

I'm so nervous about what you'll say. Could you really feel the same way ? Are you unsure, too ? This isn't good for me, or for you.
If I had to tell the truth, I would have to say that I don't want to get hurt. And I don't want you to get disappointed, either. As much as I'm hoping for you, there ARE better girls out there for you. Plenty, trust me. & thats why I don't think I have a chance in the first place. Why would you choose me ?
I'm afraid that I'll mess things up, and our friendship will be ruined. But what am I supposed to do, ignore this ? It'd probably be best if I did.

You're different. & Heeey, I gotta say, you're quite the charmer.


I don't want to lose you.
That's what I'm scared of the most.

november 6th ,

spent pretty much the entire day with naiyana, ashley, and diane.
good day ! definitely.
maybe i'll blog later, but i'm quite tired.
later, guys !
sweet dreams <3

i think that ,

Today was actually a pretty good day (:

I went to see Ashley's last volleyball game with Mandy, Karlo, and Tomas. And yeah, my "jacket" was there, too. They didn't win, though /: But hey, those girls were awesome out there ! <3 Especially ashley, haha. (which I hope still reads my blogs.) I regret not going out for volleyball, actually. Maybe next year, I'll try out. That is, if I make the team..

Daang, Mandy always makes me laugh. I think I spot a new friend ! Never ever go to the girls locker room with her, though. She's CRAZY.
& I have to admit, there are pretty cool kids over at Clark, despite what I thought at first.

Mandy left first, then Karlo, & then I left. Tomas was left all alone, haha. And gosh, I can't believe I won't be going to another volleyball game for like another year.

Time will go by fast, though. I can already tell. Whether or not thats a good thing, I can't tell. But, I'm crossing my fingers (:

I made up my mind.

I was right before. Let's be friends (;
I guess I had a lapse of judgement, but I got it figured out now.
Just hoping that I don't get confused again in the future.

so today ,

I saw naiyana :D
We were completely unproductive, as usual. What did you expect ?
OH my gosh, I almost broke her $40 crane game, though. I got my hand stuck in it, and I was really starting to panic. BUT, I fixed it, so everythings okie (:

I miss having my bestie at school with me. Where are you when things happen, and I don't know what to do ? It sucks, I hate it.

Naiyana absolutely distracted me from my homework, though. I have to retake all my biology online reading quizzes, do my essay questions, finish my geometry homework, etc. Dang it, I hope I get some sleep tonight..

Well, that's it. It's time to stop procrastinating, so I'm off.
Bye (:

good night.

i'm on the phone with ashley & naiyana.
It's 11:30.
It's a school night.
and, i'm tired.

but we're planning important stuff. Dude, we're planning sadie's , even though it's not for another month and a half. We're crazy, huh ? Imagine how crushed we'll be if we get rejected, haha. Actually, I probably will get rejected, but its okay. Just suck it up, & take it, right ?

Haha, I love these girls. They're the first people I go to , all the time.

My orchestra concert is tomorrow ! I'm kind-of excited. I hope naiyana can go, & I'll get to see John(: Um, i guess shawn will be there, too.
My first high school orchestra concert. How exciting , right ? Well, I'm going to try to look pretty tomorrow. TRY, yu know.

Well, good night. sweet dreams, <3

what was i supposed to say ?

i like ties, but it's not like that.

One, Two.

My capacity is one, haha.
Yeah, that means YOU.

don't ruin my day, please;

I just got back home from RTC.
It was so nice to see everyone again. I missed you guys like crazy !
Naiyana, Ashley, John, Jennifer,Vivian, Elaine <3
ah, just like old times (;

so much cheering, though ! I can't believe we didn't place /:
It's alright, though. RTC was still hella fun !
Especially the dance, for the most part. Well, except for that part with tie & those people.
Anyways, i hope we all get to hang out again. But, for now, I'm tired, and I think i'll end this blog here. Bye ! <3

i hate when you make me wait;

when i obviously didn't have to.
I'm not coming the next time you call. YOU come & tell me, then.

i went to naiyana's house, & it was funn :D
we always have the weirdest conversations, haha. today, it was about lemon/pancake - heads. Yea, that's pretty how much how the day went.
oh, & she tried on my orchestra dress (: naiyana looked reaaaally pretty !

not even close, dude.
"oh, this is for last night."
"it had stripes & little red hearts on it"

& ooooh, tomorrows an 'A' day ! i wonder what that means ;D
and its all about them ties now, if yu know what i mean.


but for now, it's time to get working ;

what am I waiting for ?

its pretty apparent.

It's either one of the two options :

1. Uh, I'm REALLY obvious, apparently.
2. either that, or yur reaal smart /:

I'm pretty sure it's the first, though.
I mean, you'd have to be blind not to see it.


Hard to ignore, & impossible to miss.

embarrassed.

as;ldkj;fdpoiqwuer;lkjfasdcv ;
I'm so embarrassed.
It's ridiculous; dudeee, its only like the third day too.

and i've got no chance.
" I can't pull another one of those . "
Too bad, I am ?!
asdl;f;lkqjwerpoiufjsa

one day at a time.

It's nice to let it all out,
but there are still so many questions.
Like, what do I do from this point on ?

Anyways, at least now I know that I'm not a freak.

I had to tell someone.
It's not all bottled up anymore, thankfully.

Things happen, and while they may not feel right at the time, they happen for a reason. People change, and that fact is inevitable.
The only thing I ever wish for , is that things will be alright in the end, and that we'll all be happy with what/who we have.

I'm actually kind-of looking forward to monday (; strange, seeing as how i'm actually not disliking things as much as i thought i would.

Yeah, things aren't the way I want them; I can't complain, though.

I have this new motto, where I'm trying to stay optimistic. Is it working ?! I was always negative, because one of the things i hate the most is being disappointed. If you never had much hope in the beginning, then you won't be as hurt when it doesn't happen the way you want it to. At the same time, I learned that you have to stay happy, or else nothing will ever seem right. I got tired of feeling down all the time; who wants that, right ? all about the attitude, maaaan.



We take it one day at time, because that's all we're capable of.

Er, No.

I should not have said that.
ugh, why ?

Actually, no.
I can't pull another one of those things ?
yeah, no.
just no.

Why am I suddenly regretful ?
I don't know why it's like this, all the time.

& I hope this blog made no sense to you.

i've noticed.

No one writes blogs anymore, haha.
I guess we just don't have the time, huh ?

uplifting.

I feel inspired.

I want to do more , so much more than i think i'm capable of.



I just watched the most amazing video, a piano & cello duet. I saw it a few months ago, & i was impressed before, but now i'm just in awe. What amazing talent ; quite honestly , i find it extraordinary. When i watch the two of them create such beautiful music, it pushes me to do more than i've ever wanted. especially carmen ; i love the way she touches the keys, how she's so into what she's doing, & the all the emotions that go behind the music.. and paired with the cello, whoa (; & they arranged that piece, too. now thats even more incredible. that girl in the video was in my piano class, & its a shame that i dont get to see her perform anymore. but oh well, everything she did while she was here was inspirational.

i hope that, one day, i'll be able to do the same thing : play in a way that has the power to inspire & move others.

watch it ! i know yu'll love it , too.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dVfQBIAHGNg

Really ?

High school SUCKS. i'll explain later when i actually have the time.
right now ,i'm exhausted. when's my tank going to run out ?
whatever, good night.

Oh, dangit.

I seriously want to smack someone right now.

(:

Everything will be fine <3

naiyana pee.

Best friends ;D

I went to naiyana's house yesterday, and you know what I realized? we're complete losers. I cracked an egg in my pocket (big suprise), she didn't know when her oven was on, and we were completely fascinated by some disgusting plastic surgery show on discovery health. LOL, I'll explain :

We wanted to bake brownies, but she only had one egg (we needed two for the recipe.) She told me to bring another one, & unfortunately, as soon i as i got to her house, it cracked. There I was, dripping egg yolk on her when she opened the door. "Wow.. you're a dumbie." So I changed into these swim shorts, and looked like a freak at Walmart & Roger Bryan. Oh well ?

Turns out she had two eggs afterall (dumbie xD). We made the brownies, but it took us some time since we didnt realize that the oven was off most of the time. I told you, we're losers ! Oh, and I also played this crane game where you had to go grab Jolly Ranchers. Dang, that was tough..Afterwards, we watched people get face lifts, nose jobs, liposuction, tummy tucks, etc. for like an hour. "EW, I can't look away!" "My sister will drive you home AFTER the show."

LOL, naiyana makes me laugh <3 080509

Back in Vegas

People aren't what you would expect them to be.
Expect the unexpected, right?

It's hypocritical for me to say, but first impressions are wrong about half the time. I admit it; I judge, I gossip, I do things I shouldn't. But really, how can you say anything about a person if you don't get to know them? It's quite hard to ignore what you think of them at first, but opinions will change. Afterall, you would miss out on a ton of people if just based them off of your first impressions. Of course, there are exceptions, like when I met naiyana back in kindergarten. I think we became best friends the moment we met each other. It was just the way things were supposed to be.

Sorry, this blog is short, but I think i'll post tomorrow. I'm tired, so I'm off to bed. Night ! <3

Last Day

Today was the last day of summer school, and I miss everyone already.
It's crazy how fast these six weeks went by.

There were so many times where I thought, "I can't wait until this is over." I'm happy I don't have to go anymore, but I'll miss hanging out with everyone, especially naiyana, tyler, arturo, jennifer, nicole, and elaine. I hope we all stay in touch & still see each other from time to time. Once you spend five hours every day with someone for six weeks, you get pretty close. I met a couple people who are going to Clark next year. Half of them don't seem too bad, hopefully we'll be friends next year. there have just been wayy too many memories vv

Summer school :
speed. badminton. mile runs. SWEAT. sunburn & sock tans. morning walks. stealing water whenever we got the chance. meeting new people. spring valley water park. waking up everyday at 6 a.m. basketball. baseball games. allergies. learning how to throw a football. breakdancing. lunch breaks. pictures, pictures, pictures. water fights. tickles. stinky bathrooms. stress. "hasbeens." 11:11. staying close with old friends. saying goodbye.

Summer of '09 <3