I have a feeling

that things will change, very soon & very much so. I don't know if it'll be a good thing or a bad thing, but I guess I'll just have to wait it out & see..

But on the bright side, my orchestra teacher told me I could play piano for chamber next year, and that he would try to make sure that I'd get into 5/6 orchestra. Hopefully things will work out & my schedule won't conflict with anything. Ahh, which reminds me, senior year seems like it'll be really depressing LOL. I don't like to think about the all the AP classes I'll have to take. Not to mention the college apps I'll have to fill up. Yeaaahh.. Not fun.
& on a side note, my friends' combined sweet 16 will be next weekend. I'll be looking forward to that. (: Hopefully this will be a good week? (x Hahaha.

Doing homework.

I guess I'll be staying up late tonight. Hmph, I knew I shouldn't have napped today. ):

My showertime is usually when I think about things. & while worrying about which classes I should be taking, I wondered if you would still be in my classes next year. I know, it's strange that I still think about you sometimes. But anyways, I was thinking about how disappointed I'd be if you were in my classes & still decided to ignore me. It got me thinking, why couldn't you have just put everything that happened between us behind you? Why couldn't everything have been okay between us? After I asked you to Sadie's, I really didn't care anymore. What if we're stuck with each other for the next two years, & things don't change? We could have still been friends, but I guess not since you didn't want to. If you didn't want me in your life, then that's okay. It actually wasn't fine, but I'd rather say that it was because it's a lot easier for me to be indifferent than to keep getting rejected by you.

After getting

my PSAT scores, I've started to think more and more about college. I scored a 174/240, which is okay I guess. But I started wondering to myself, if I'm having trouble with the classes I'm taking now, how would I ever survive at college? I've always dreamed of going out-of-state to a really nice university when I got older, but now that I think about it, I know that it's really quite far-fetched. There's a reason why those universities are so prestigious, it's because only the nation's BEST goes there. I doubt that I would qualify for that. Ever since high school, I've come to realize that I'm not actually all that smart & that I do slack off or bs my homework assignments some times. It's disappointing, but that's just reality. I'm definitely not going to stop working hard in school, but I guess this is just something I should keep in mind from now on. I shouldn't get my hopes up.

I wish I could have seen the guest conductor today in orchestra.
I heard he was cute. ): & that he had a british accent! Oh darn, hahaha.

Tired,

But I'm hanging in there.
Disappointed in you & a bit confused, but doing okay.
Things will be okay if I think they'll be. (:

Time to get productiveeee.

My time management skills suck. o___O Yeah. I'll do one more homework assignment before I sleep, since I don't want to feel stressed/irritated/screwed over on Sunday night like I usually do LOL.

Looking at certain things

Makes me realize how different we've all become. It hasn't really hit me until now that we're all going our separate paths.. & It's a strange feeling. The people we once knew really aren't the same anymore. The people that I once knew, would they surprised at how I've changed? Sooner or later, we all start to lead our own separate lives. It's intimidating to know that we're all growing up. & I wonder, as we start to become more independent and do our own things, the people that we are close with now, will they continue to be in our lives? Or will things always be constantly changing?
I don't really like to think about these type of things. I'd rather just think about the present, and what's happening now. It's not as scary.