Eww,

I have to say, I've changed a lot this year.
But still, there are little things that'll get me down. Make me realize that I'll never be as beautiful, or talented, or special as those other girls.
& today, I didn't cry. I didn't want to. But I knew in my heart, how disappointed I was, how much I blew it. How much I wanted to know that there WAS one thing I was good at. Because it wasn't just a competition to me. I didn't want to win first place, I just wanted to know that there was something special about me, a talent that I had. Come on, now, 8 years, and the best I've ever gotten was an honorable mention last year. & It's true, I need reassurance. I don't like admitting it. And I hold music so close to me. Because sometimes, when I put my fingers on those keys, there's no other way I can let myself go. But oh well, I'll keep trying.
You have to keep pushing yourself. Have faith, get some confidence. WORK for it, dang.